Good manners and chores are crucial to a child's upbringing. However, it appears that many parents today seem to have let this part of their job description slip with a variety of excuses: "They are just kids," or "Kids will be kids," or "My parents were way too strict, I won't do that to my kids," or, my personal favorite, "Let them have a childhood, they will have responsibilities soon enough."

The ramifications of these thought patterns ripple through many levels of the collective life experience, for badly behaved children can be an embarrassing reflection of their parents' own lack of discipline and consideration for others, creating a domino effect where no one wants to follow rules because, well, no one else is. Kids want and need boundaries, expectations and yes, age appropriate responsibilities to feel that they are making a positive contribution. Self esteem comes from feeling that you are vital part of something greater than yourself.

You can teach manners and proper behavior as well as assign chores to children while respecting their age and their needs. First, you must set up and define suitable expectations based on age and communicate these expectations appropriately. Don't make a big deal about chores or manners, just remind kids, when necessary, if they are exhibiting an offending or inappropriate behavior.

Encourage and reward them for good behavior, applaud them and comment out loud when they are behaving well (positive reinforcement does work and may fit well into the lifestyles of those suffering from the mindsets described in paragraph one). And be sure to impress upon kids that good manners will serve them throughout their lives while bad manners will only result in having them served up with consequences that become more serious as they grow older.

Below is a list of manners and chores written in an ascending level of age appropriateness, younger kids start at the top, as early as age 2 and by the time you reach age 13 (the bottom of the list) children are capable of handling most anything their parents assign. So if you know an 8 year old or an 11 year old that is not sitting down while eating, or does not know how to match up socks, or does not help put dishes away, then the parent needs to wake up and realize that there are children who are much younger doing these things and thus gaining a huge advantage over the child who has no responsibility. Again, respect of each individual's needs is imperative and this list and the order in which it is presented are intended as guidelines to get you started. Now, get your own elbows off the table, say please and thank you all day long, and set a good example each day.

BASIC MANNERS

Respectful and kind to others

Say Please and Thank You

Do not talk with mouth full

Swallow your food before you begin to speak

Sit down while eating

Elbows off the table

Hold a door open for someone

Do not interrupt another person while they are speaking

Introduce yourself to others

Shake hands

Serve others first

Let others go before you

IT'S TIME FOR CHORES

2-4 YEAR OLDS SHOULD:

Help pick up and put away toys and books

Help dust with socks on hands

Help wipe up spills and messes

Put napkins on the table

Match socks

Put small items in the garbage

Fold towels and washcloths

Help make the bed

Neatly stack books or magazines

5-6 YEAR OLDS SHOULD DO ALL OF THE ABOVE PLUS:

Put away toys/books/things

Empty wastebaskets

Bring in mail

Pull weeds

Sweep outside

Wipe Counters and sinks

Put away forks and spoons from dishwasher

Put laundry in hamper

Take laundry to the laundry room

Sort laundry into color piles

Help put their clothes away

Help set the table

Help put dishes in dishwasher

Help clear table

Help out in cooking and preparing food

Help put away groceries

Help with yard work (rake with child's rake or plant flowers, etc.)

Help feed pets

7-9 YEAR OLDS SHOULD DO ALL OF THE ABOVE PLUS:

Make bed

Clean room with direction

Wipe down bathroom toilets, counters, and walls

"Skate mop" with rags under their feet

Wash walls

Help make dinner

Help wash the car

Help wash dishes

Help empty and load the dishwasher

Put away clean dry dishes

Rake leaves

Take out the trash

Set the table

Clear the table on own

Clean the refrigerator

Help vacuum

Feed pets

Fold and put away laundry

Help carry and put away groceries

10-12 YEAR OLDS SHOULD DO ALL OF THE ABOVE PLUS:

Clean mirrors

Wipe and clean light switches

Put away groceries on own

Pack their lunch

Rake leaves and light yard work

Clean kitchen counters and sink

Load and empty the dishwasher on own

Mow lawn and yard work

Start doing own laundry

Make small meals on own

Wash the car

Clean room without direction

 

Source: examiner.com